Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
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Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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