My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
