Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
