I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
