if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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