Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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