i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
