I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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