Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Found your dick twin last night
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
