brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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