Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
