i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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