I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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