We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
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I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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