No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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