How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize