i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.