Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!