I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky