Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband

Fav 91 18135 1232
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.

Fav 16 3586 782
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.

Fav 24 5574 1860
share tweet
(530): View more from California

Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.

Fav 30 8179 1538
share tweet
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(804): View more from Virginia

I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store

Fav 10 8242 1093
share tweet
(904): View more from Florida

I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.

Fav 23 1809 5050
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Oh God.

Fav 20 5025 1067
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been

Fav 0 294 197
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(972): View more from Texas

I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.

Fav 0 48 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT