if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.