can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
