It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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