Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
