Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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