While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
