Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
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I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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