Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
