i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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