I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize