I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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