I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
