So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
