Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
