you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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