i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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