Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
