Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
