I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
