Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
the liver wants what the liver wants
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
