its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
