Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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