ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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