Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
