Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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