So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
