i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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