Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
vagina is talking i cant
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
