when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
