WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
