I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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