I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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