im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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