Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
