I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
