so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
