WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
