Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
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Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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