I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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