totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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