Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
