Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
