he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
