it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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