Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
